Chaos

When I get particularly inspirational urges, I lock myself in the bathroom and see what happens when I put a pen to a piece of paper. Unfortunately, this past week has seen a major blockage of my creative vein. The buildup has been so intense, though, that I had to do something to let it all out... even if it was a bit sloppy. (I keep getting this mental image of hooking a hose up to a fire hydrant and trying to control the spray of water as it bursts out.)

So I just started writing. It was pretty bad. I wish I was more disciplined with this kind of thing; that way I could actually channel what I write and focus it toward a productive end or goal (such as the glory of God).

The first several sentences that came out weren't that great. It was just stream-of-consciousness writing, really. I flipped the page over and looked at the back of it, then flipped it back and looked at the front again, and wrote, "I like the way the Sharpie bleeds through to the other side of the page, but that's about all the inspiration I have right now."

Apparently it was enough.

Flipping over to the back once more, I started filling in the blank spots left from the front of the page with words. It looks really cool on paper, which unfortunately isn't translatable to a blog post, but maybe the words mean something anyway.

Write in between the lines in bold,
underlined, and all caps. Maybe
they'll understand, or maybe they won't. Fill
in the spaces where
I'm lacking, and together
we'll make something that
is whole.
Take my hand, my heart,
and let our similarities
overlap while our differences
shine all the
brighter. Together we'll make
a new picture of glory and
praise to our King. He takes
pleasure in
filling in the blanks
with interesting
adjectives. I don't know what I'm doing at all, but it's making something beautiful. There's no plan set in stone, just absolute sovereignty. Maybe towards the end you get the hang of it, but for now, let's just be completely led by Him and play by ear.

Making it look pretty on the page and not worrying about what I was writing seemed like a good idea. So I started writing in a spiral and just let whatever would come out, come out.

It's a playful love that is so much more beautiful when written one word at a time. The art is in the process, not the finished product. It changes as you go, but is always reaching new levels of creativity and ingenuity. Just make it up as you go along; nobody really knows what they're doing anyway. Put it on shuffle and see what happens. Spontaneity is God's paintbrush; give Him that, and He'll make your life into a masterpiece. But He only works with what you give Him, so be sure to give Him everything.

Hmm. Jesus. Help me channel all my energy into praising You more. All that I have is from You. Can I give it back for Your glory? Put it to use, please! Show me how to praise You through it, because I don't know how to put the reins on it and make it work for Your glory and fame. Haha... I'm excited. Make this chaos into something that shouts and sings Your glory.